The beginning.

How can I put five years into words? For months, that is the only thing that came to mind when asked why I did not yet have a blog. Finally, with encouragement from my husband, I decided to at least attempt it. It could only help right?

So here I am. Here to put our story into words. Our beautiful, yet heartbreaking story of our unexpected infertility.

When we got married, we decided that we weren't going to prevent pregnancy in any way. We were going to leave that in the hands of the lord. We were that ready to be parents, even back then.

One, two, three and then four years roll by without a baby. Now, almost five years later, the list of things that my body and my marriage have gone through both physically and emotionally to become a mother, are heartbreaking in many ways. But the truth is, God is good all of the time. He has been there all of the time, and has not forsaken me, not for one moment. Although for many of those moments, it sure has felt like it.

For years, I was only sure of one thing, that I was alone. We were alone. Every couple we
knew was having their first, second, or third baby. Together, we have sat and watched newborns turn into big brothers and sisters, as the hole in our heart continued to grow.