Everything is bigger in Texas.

So much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. After an insane first few nights, we are somewhat settled in Houston. Matt loves his new career, and that makes us both really happy. The dogs seem to love Houston, especially all the space to run and play in our townhouse :) I start working tomorrow on my 28th birthday. 28 and in Texas. It's funny because in the infertility world, each birthday or holiday you say to yourself, " this time next year I will be a mom" you really believe it the first few times, then it turns into " this time next year I COULD be a mom" eventually you just start to hate holidays and especially birthdays " great now I am 27 and STILL no baby" I am sure one day I will look back and have a different opinion on all of this, but for now it's hard. This time it's back to being exciting again, because this time it could very well be the case. Or at least very much on my way to becoming a mother.

For those who have asked where we are in the process, we are getting our new home "home study approved" we are getting an entertainment center that holds our tv securely, we are putting in shelves to put dangerous things up high, we are baby proofing our house believe it or not. I have been blessed to know another family going through the Ethiopia program with lifeline, and she's been giving me pointers on getting somewhat ahead of the game. Thank you Maria! We are also in the process of submitting our home study application. Since we don't live in the same state as our agency, we have to get another separate agency to do our home study for us. It's exciting, the girl I am working with has been really great so far. So in the next few weeks I will be doing everything that needs to be done in order to set up our actual visits. I am real excited about that.

God is showing us in little and very big ways that we are smack in the middle of His will for our lives and family. That's a great feeling. A very great feeling.

Garage sale= success!

We had our adoption garage sale this past weekend and it was a wonderful experience. We witnessed total strangers going above and beyond in their giving to our baby fund. People would come up to me and ask a price and I would say " a dollar" ( for just about everything) and they would give me three!! I got to hear personal stories from strangers about their own adoption journeys and better yet, adoptee stories! I did hug a perfect stranger and cried with her as well. She was a sister in Christ though and she made my day.

I was blown away by the love and support our friends gave us. Whether it was shown by coming to the sale, sending a text, donating, calling or sitting in my driveway with me all day, I was overwhelmed with joy and love for my family and friends. This baby Ludlum is LOVED already by so many ;)

We more than doubled our goal by the end of the day, and now more than ever are we ready to get the ball rolling, it's just starting to feel more real everyday. COME ON JANUARY!!!!

We are adopting!

Well, I guess it's finally time to share the news :)

During our infertility journey we started looking into adoption. We tucked it away in the back of our minds for awhile, (or so we thought) and agreed that we would pray about it for one year before we moved forward with it.


At the one year mark, we put forth a plan of action and by the grace of God, we have been able to obtain all of our goals. Part of that plan involved seeking a medical answer for our infertility.

We spent lots of time and money seeing all types of doctors, including a specialist who diagnosed me with stage 4 endometriosis and a thyroid condition. After a certain point, I knew that I did not want anymore hormone injections, blood work or empty sonograms done. I knew that God had a different plan for us. I had a peace. A peace about telling the doctors " no more." I knew We were called to adopt, I knew our baby was somewhere else.

We do believe that our baby is in Ethiopia. We do also believe that if the Lord wants us to
have a biological child one day, we will. Either way, our children will be miracles and we will continue to tell our story.

I am so thankful. Thankful for a God who is sovereign, and for a husband that gets me and has a heart for the Lord.

We are THRILLED. On cloud nine. About to explode with JOY. So, if you would like to follow along through this blog, please do so! We love you all.

Day 1 of our new journey.

Today Matt started training. We have 8 wks until we leave Alabama, and move onto Texas. We are both really excited, but I know that when we pack the last box it's going to hit me. I was a mess when we moved out of our very first apartment together. We weren't going far, just 30 minutes away, but something about standing in the empty hallway, bare chalky white walls, I lost it. The first two years of our marriage flashed before my eyes and suddenly I did not want to leave. We had dreamt about the day our lease would be up, and finally being able to kiss our awful landlord goodbye but when it came time to lock up, it was harder than I ever imagined. I can't image how hard it's going to be this time, so many more memories, and so many more friendships that will be so hard to walk away from for now. This time it's far, and this time it's probably for good.

I think about new beginnings and following where we know the Lord is leading and I feel a peace and excitement! New amazing things are happening to us and I can not describe my gratitude. For a couple of years now we have been on our knees ( literally) praying for a job that Matt would really enjoy. For a certain income, and a special change for our family that would allow us to accomplish other things on our hearts and minds. Today, is the start of all these wonderful things and I can't help but smile :)

The beginning.

How can I put five years into words? For months, that is the only thing that came to mind when asked why I did not yet have a blog. Finally, with encouragement from my husband, I decided to at least attempt it. It could only help right?

So here I am. Here to put our story into words. Our beautiful, yet heartbreaking story of our unexpected infertility.

When we got married, we decided that we weren't going to prevent pregnancy in any way. We were going to leave that in the hands of the lord. We were that ready to be parents, even back then.

One, two, three and then four years roll by without a baby. Now, almost five years later, the list of things that my body and my marriage have gone through both physically and emotionally to become a mother, are heartbreaking in many ways. But the truth is, God is good all of the time. He has been there all of the time, and has not forsaken me, not for one moment. Although for many of those moments, it sure has felt like it.

For years, I was only sure of one thing, that I was alone. We were alone. Every couple we
knew was having their first, second, or third baby. Together, we have sat and watched newborns turn into big brothers and sisters, as the hole in our heart continued to grow.